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READING
“We are neuro-biologically hard wired to make sense of our hurts as fast as we can. And if we can come up with a story that makes sense of it, our brain chemically rewards us for that story whether it is accurate or not.” * Brenee Brown
WORDS OF HOPE
Many years ago, in a group on forgiveness I facilitated, one of the men stepped forward to share the story of his disastrous fall from an administrative role at a college because drugs and alcohol had held him in thrall. Of his downward trajectory, he confessed—honestly and vulnerably— the harm he had done to people who cared for and believed in him, helped advance his career, mentored him, and tried to help free him from his addiction. As he shared, he regularly used the phrase: “The story I told myself was….”It was a phrase that he learned in recovery work, a phrase that helped him claim personal accountability for his actions as he healed.
Since that time I have pondered and examined some of the stories I tell myself. Just recently I took the opportunity to explore an old narrative, one which began with some validity, but, when unexamined, got cemented as truth when perspectives had changed over time. It was part of a coat of armor I had put on after a person blamed me for hurting a good friend of theirs. No question there was hurt—to both parties—but in the friend’s estimation, I was the Wicked Witch of the West. So I withdrew, avoided interaction—justifying the response that she didn’t want anything to do with the Ogre-me.
Brenee Brown asserts that it is important to take “reckoning” about the things that hook us emotionally: “We can’t chart a new course until we find out where we are, how we got there and where we want to go.” This inner work is important to our growth and wellbeing, our relationships, and our resilience to recoup from setbacks. Her process includes acknowledging our feelings and getting curious about what’s behind them (eg. Why am I being so hard on everyone? Or why am I feeling insecure here? ) In another step, she encourages us to write down the answers to the following prompts: The story I am making up—What are my emotions, my thinking, my body, my beliefs, my actions. She calls this place in the process getting ready to “rumble”—to poke and prod our findings. **
In a time of prayerful examination early one morning, I uncovered how this story I convinced myself of derived from old wounds as well as feelings about personal integrity and issues of belonging. The inner work definitely stirred up some old feelings, but has started to help me write my own story with new clarity, accuracy, and freedom.
PRAYER
Liberating God, You lead us from illusion to the truth which sets us free. Grant us the courage to seek new narratives as we partner with you to author our lives. Amen.
DEVOTION AUTHOR
Dr. Pat Saxon
*A short video with Brenee Brown and Kylie Lewis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eicjG9ilmfg
**An extended explanation of the process: https://www.oprah.com/omagazine/brene-brown-rising-strong-excerpt
Cathedral of Hope
Proclaiming Christ Through Faith, Hope and Love
5910 Cedar Springs Road | Dallas, TX | 75235
214-351-1901
info@cathedralofhope.com