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2 Samuel 1:11-12
Then David took hold of his clothes and tore them, and so also did all the men who were with him. They mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and his son Jonathan…
WORDS OF HOPE
“No time to grieve…” was the lead on a recent news post about the survivors of the devastating fires on Maui. Most of us have never experienced the catastrophic loss of family, friends, property, community, animals, natural beauty, and culture that our Hawaiian neighbors have endured, but it is understandable how the trauma would overwhelm and block normal grieving processes. And I pray that, in God’s good time, the people can mourn and lament, individually and collectively.
Today large numbers of us still carry “unattended sorrow” from Covid losses and the broken relationships, disappointment, and disillusionment from the fractures in our society. An adage in grief circles is that if you don’t address your loss, it will come back and bite you in the … backside. Our lives, relationships, health, work, creativity, and dreams can all be impacted in serious ways. It is also true that new loss can open up old unhealed grief.
That reality has drawn close this summer. As I have mourned the death of my precious dog Charley, unhealed grief from the death of my blessed friend of 56 years has re-emerged. Inviting this difficult guest into my heart again is painful, but holding sacred space for mourning opens the possibility of healing and new life.
Dale Woolery asserts that we can go for years without grieving because our culture minimizes its importance. “Too often we are consciously or unconsciously encouraged to set our John Wayne-like jaws and ride tearless into the sunset…. It took me almost 40 years to begin grieving the death of my father.”
“[When I was 5], I was unable to experience the loss. I did not have the support I needed to face the pain. So, I went on in life almost as if nothing had happened. But I was not okay. Even if I seemed fine. Such significant losses have consequences—life molding consequences. When a crisis eventually forced me to dock my life’s ship in a therapist’s office at age 41, I knew I was sinking. I had no idea that some of the holes in my hull could be attributed to my father’s death…. Over time it became clear that I hadn’t just lost a father—but a model for manhood, a pattern for [intimate] interaction, a guide in life’s storms, and the tender love and essential structure which fathers can pass on to sons.”
Woolery was fortunate. Not only did he seek the help of a counselor; he was able to sit down with his uncles, sharing stories, and reclaiming lost parts of his father’s life. Never could he have guessed what sacred work grief could be and the freedom and new life it would yield. May it be so for us all.
PRAYER
Oh God, who holds our tears in a bottle, help us grieve and lament the losses in our lives and the life of our world. There is so much, so much. Help us be part of the healing. Amen.
DEVOTION AUTHOR
Dr. Pat Saxon
Cathedral of Hope
Proclaiming Christ Through Faith, Hope and Love
5910 Cedar Springs Road | Dallas, TX | 75235
214-351-1901
info@cathedralofhope.com