214-351-1901
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READING
Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage. Brenee Brown
WORDS OF HOPE
At 3:00 this morning I got up to watch Brenee Brown’s TED talk on listening to shame again. With each frame and story, my solar plexus tightened, as if someone had gut-punched me. And indeed they had. I had struggled for days with topics for this piece of writing—unusual for me—and nothing was working. Now Spirit drove me toward a greater risk: to claim the shame work I am doing. Even as I claim it, I feel like I’ve said a dirty word in public. But that’s how shame keeps its power—in secrecy and silence and isolation. Now the spell is broken.
What began with some months of intense griefwork over current and unhealed losses has uncovered layers of feelings from an old shame event—one which cost me a relationship that was precious. As I unfolded the background information last week for my spiritual director, I shared the metaphor that seemed truest for me about these months. In the Taos, NM mountain streams, leaves and sticks and limbs falling into the water choke off the natural flow over time and then get hard packed by the winter snows. But with the intensity of the spring sun, the snowpack melts, and the power of the crystalline water, drawn by gravity, rushes downhill, casting out the obstructing debris.
Since the first inklings that this work was on the horizon, I’ve been writing, tracking feelings, summoning the courage to speak, to confess, really, to my compassionate witness. Through it all, I have had the strong sense that this is the work of the Spirit and that it is important. This healing and clearing opens the pathways of the heart for greater love, the love to which Jesus calls us.
Shame work is no cakewalk, as folks in a 12 Step program will confirm. But making the journey with others eases the load, provides support, and models the courage we need. The wisdom in videos like Psychiatrist Curt Thomas’ “The Soul of Shame” is also valuable and moving. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeY5Y1EsZ1c
If you are one who needs this devotion this day, I pray that in some small way, it helps you remember that God’s grace is wider than the sea and infinitely larger than our shame.
PRAYER
Oh Love, that will not let us go, we come to you “carrying old secrets too painful to utter, too shameful to acknowledge, too burdensome to bear. And you know them. You know them all. And so we take a deep sigh in your presence, no longer needing to pretend and cover up and deny.” In the gaze of your knowing and your compassion, the stranglehold of shame breaks and we can step forward into accountability for our actions and summon the courage to seek reconciliation where precious bonds have been severed. “We are yours and find that truth before you makes us free for wonder, love, praise—and new life.” May it be so. Amen.
(Quoted sections from Walter Brueggemann)
DEVOTION AUTHOR
Dr. Pat Saxon
Cathedral of Hope
Proclaiming Christ Through Faith, Hope and Love
5910 Cedar Springs Road | Dallas, TX | 75235
214-351-1901
info@cathedralofhope.com