214-351-1901
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SCRIPTURE
Hebrews 4:16
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
WORDS OF HOPE
The past several months I’ve repeatedly had to use a word with which I’ve never been entirely comfortable: need. Too often when I have to say it, it sounds loud, like NEED. For example, last summer it felt risky to tell a perfect stranger that I didn’t just want spiritual direction; I NEEDED it, so great was the urgency to process the accumulated loss in my life with a compassionate guide.
Then when the X-rays came back showing bone on bone in my knees, and it was clear that surgery would be required, the formation of a support team lead to asking one person after another if they could help with something I will need, One evening after a good friend and I had been to dinner, I told her I had a “big ask”—whether I might stay with her for a few days right after the surgery until I was more sure about how medication would affect me and my “sea legs” were steadier. She burst out laughing—and when I asked why, she said, “You call that a big ask?” Over time such friendships build strength and resilience by supporting one another in times of the “big ask.”
In my case, the process continues with the need for folks to take me to physical therapy—which will go on for weeks until I am cleared to drive. The answer was yes after yes. Ironically, all the strain of asking and admitting need has turned to tender gratitude for the kindness of friends.
If we examine why we have trouble admitting need, Greg Levoy provides insights as he speaks of a time of serious injury when he refused to reach out: “It was the part of me that needed to appear in control, hated to be vulnerable, and prided himself on independence; the part that was afraid to test the tensile strength of friendship, afraid it might give out under too much strain, afraid to even find out how much was too much.”
Of course, another reason is that we know the burden of responsibilities others carry and don’t want to add to them. But have we not all sometimes “found the grace to help in time of need”?
Many years ago, after my beloved had been diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer, so many in our community wanted to help out in her need, but her strength and independence were legendary. So at first she turned away many offers. I could see that it was hurting folks who truly cared for her and so we had a talk. I asked her if she would deny people a way to express their love for her, and it seemed to crack open her resistance. After her death, it was comforting to those who remained to remember those small gestures of love.
Now, I am learning my own lesson.
PRAYER
God, grant us a willing responsiveness to the needs of others. And may we who have difficulty asking for help overcome our resistance and be touched with gratitude for the grace of others. Amen.
DEVOTION AUTHOR
Dr. Pat Saxon
Cathedral of Hope
Proclaiming Christ Through Faith, Hope and Love
5910 Cedar Springs Road | Dallas, TX | 75235
214-351-1901
info@cathedralofhope.com